I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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