It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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