erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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