But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
