I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
