She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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