its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's always time for handjobs
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
