An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I touched a dick in church today
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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