You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
