dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
not ubering you a puppy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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