He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
