So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
