This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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