My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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