Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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