you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
