so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
