so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
