Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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