At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
