I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
