my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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