I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
