Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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