I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
