I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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