I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
