No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
