Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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