I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
