You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
