I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
