She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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