i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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