i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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