**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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