I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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