Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
