Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
