You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
