I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
