It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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