I need help removing her.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
