i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
