But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
