it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
