That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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