drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
