im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
vagina is talking i cant
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
