he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
