Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
